Few thoughts

Since i came to the netherlands, i have always been thinking the differences between the “foreign“ culture and chinese culture. From my part time work, my studies and many interesting or nonsense talks with friends...the most distinctive differences would be “stand up for my rights“.

Last week I went with fancy nancy to shoe shop. In front of a same pair of cute heels which do not match any of our size, we made rather different decision. She bought the shoe and determine to return them if she doesnt feel comfortble after a week. I decided just not to buy them, because i feel hard to ask for return. Today also my dutch friend tells me while he works with chinese engineers in china, he founds them always cannot make decisions. Insdead, they prefer to obey what the leader says. Same as few days ago when i attend a dutch culture lecture, more than half of the time was devoted on the assertiveness of dutch people. One important message is it is your own right to defend/present your opion, also to agree/disagree with other people.

From this point of view, i was weak. Sometimes i dont really pay attention of what rights do i have. Of course i lose the chance to self defense. Partly because i come from a shy family, also i guess the chinese are confused with their rights by the communist party. You dont really know what is your rights, and how to use them. But here at least in nl, you need to stand up for rights for everything, like a part of everyday life. Comprise is sad, unless it aims a winwin situation. Respections based on rights.

你喜欢做什么，什么就有价值

你喜欢做什么，什么就有价值。

也许最近接触了很多各异的人，让我对自己曾经的价值观有很多反思。在很久以前（至少是两年以前），我对成功的人的理解就是有钱人，有车子房子和睦的家庭。可是现在再回头看，觉得那时候的自己很幼稚。成功是一个很模糊的词，就像是飘浮在海面上的浮标一样，有些人看它深，有些人看它浅，时刻都在随水位变化，观察的角度不同，对成功的理解也不一样。在我看来，只要一个人达到了一个他想要的目标，就是成功的。不管这件事多么渺小和卑微。我们也没有权利带着各种“标准”去衡量他的努力。有这样一个朋友，27岁之前，常常是一边在酒吧打工，一边做志愿者帮助从（尤其是）非洲国家逃难的难民，教他们语言。在那里遇到她现在的丈夫，从塞内加尔逃难过来。28岁她申请读大学，学习“和平”（peace studies)，又去塞内加尔待了两年。现在大学毕业了，照旧是一边在冰淇淋店做侍者，一边做志愿者。上大学，只是为了增长知识，为了了解自己真正感兴趣的事情。每次和她聊天，我都能从她的眼神看出来，她每一天过得很快乐和坦然。

记得最近有一篇文章，写的是很多人越来越不愿意去参加同学会，因为大家总是会最终忍不住的开始攀比和炫耀自己的财富。很多时候我们过于在意别人对自己的评价，而忽略了自己真实的想法，以及自己真正想要的东西。害怕会被别人嘲笑。其实一些学者曾经做过调查，80%嘲笑过你，或者赞美过你的人，事后根本就不会记得自己说过什么。真正和自己过不去的，是我们自己。

我曾经提醒过一个开小商店的朋友-- 每天不停的工作15个小时，还要应付小偷，警察（类似于城管的），和来要保护费的人--我劝他去读大学，找一份”正式”的工作。短信写了一堆，人家就会了一条：“我过的很开心。” 我觉得我很傻，凭什么要把自己认为正确的事情强加到别人身上。我本科毕业的时候，还不是一样不知道自己怎么稀里糊涂的就读了一个专业。如果能在选一次，我宁愿不去上大学，先做一些实际的工作，然后看自己需要什么，再去学什么。


又扯到了结婚的话题，因为很多人不结婚，晚结婚，生孩子但是不结婚，离婚，做一辈子男女朋友。大家的观念都统一在：“如果结婚，那就一定要找你认为一辈子都适合的人。否则就不要委屈自己。”为什么倒退三十年就是截然不同的现象呢。也许是诱惑太多，就不容易被满足了吧。我以前觉得每个人都要结婚，可是现在也渐渐能理解那些在等待的人的心情.有个特别敏感的朋友，每次跟他聊天都觉得他一直在挣扎着做选择。跟第一个女朋友已经订婚了，又分手了，因为她打他。第二个女朋友对她很好，可是他又觉得没恋爱的感觉，分分合合的。我指着墙上挂着的索马里难民营的孩子的照片叫他想开点，世上有一半的人口还没有干净的水喝，没有结实房子住。你放松点。

Buzz - Way to free mind

It was a nice experience watching the movie "little Buddha". It tells the story of how two Bhutanese monks find the reincarnations of their teacher Lama Dorji on three children from the U.S, India and Nepal who were born at the same day when the Lama Dorji died. It highlights the process of how Jesse, the small American boy, and his family involved into the eastern spiritual journey. Dean, the boy father, was holding an objection toward Lama Norbu's proposal of bringing Jesse to Bhutan for a test because he had an expectation of raising him as a normal American child. But the bad news of his friend's death in a car accident made him somehow realized that life is full of uncertainty. How Jesse's father changed his mind open to accept his son to become a Buddhist spiritual leader attracts me the most, because it provoked me to think over again about my own life.

People are too busy using time today on their daily job: submit reports to their boss, making judgement over  other people's clothing & habits, and spending time read newsletters/advertisements,etc, that we hardly have time to sit quietly and set our mind free from such constant actions/conversions. Sometimes we end up with giving priorities to a seemingly short-term benefits, but  no added value in long-terms. I am also stuffed with practices and exceptions everyday without give the mind a break -- just to stay in a state that not to bother about anything yet accept everything.

So. 

some notes for public relation plan

Though I have done some sort of "public relation" activities before, today is the first time I actually create an overall plan. Here are some notes I think would be useful for future use. (Let me know if you see any mistakes...or things that can be improved :))

Step 1: Set-up objective

The P.R. objective should stay align with the overall project plan. I used SMART descriptions.

--

To attract potential donor to invest in Project in 6 months;

To increase foundation’s visibility in three years by attracting media attention, managing press release, and organizing workshops;

To attract 10% more potential loan beneficiaries in 3 years.

Step 2: Identify target audiences

The primary audiences are the public we want to influence directly; the secondary audiences are those who can influence the primary one.

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Audience	Description
Potential donor	With the profile of microfinance or renewable energy, ethic-minded
Conventional Media	Newspaper, press release.
Online Media	Facebook, twitter, blog; in field of development
Potential loan beneficiaries	Low-middle income, with micro-business, preferable female.

Step 3: Strategies

Broad & reasoning...

Organize series of professional activities of Mantra project to provide a social-responsible, environmental friendly and financially self-sustainable image. 

Step 4: Plan activities

List out activities which align with the strategy that can achieve different objective by reaching the target groups. A budget plan can also be added in this part. 

Activities	Description	Budget
Earth day campaign	A warm-up campaign for the formal luncheon, gather media’s attention	Preferable less than 50 Euro
Formal Luncheon	Including a formal presentation about the program and a word from  CEO and a Chair/member of its board. The invitees would be potential stakeholders of donnors (existing and potential future donnors), other big NGOs working in Micro finance, Private sector companies interested in clean energy. Once a year.	About 1000 Euro *http://www.theater-concordia.nl/zalen.pdf
Annual report	Report to donors: include research studies and evaluation of the project. Once a year.	About 500 Euro for 50 copies. *Printing Costs – 6 Euro plus 0.01 Euro/ page
Online media update &follow-up	Facebook, twitter, newsletter. Monthly update.	0
On site campaign in SL	To attract potential loan beneficiaries, and create positive image of the project. Activities could be community meeting, entrepreneurship training, financial advice, dancing night, etc. Preferable 3 times a year.	200 Euro. *Food, transportation, accommodation and drinking money for community leader.
Formal orientation in SL	Keep good relationship with local government, chiefdom, NGOs and religious leader. Once a year.	500 Euro. *Food, transportation, accommodation, and presentation material.

Step 5: Scheduling 

Free hug

As I went to the bus stop in the morning, I saw a girl all in black standing by the stop -- looked pretty poor. She lifted up a small black board in front of her with some words as I went close by. I didn't pay attention thinking it might be some Dutch protest.

3 mins later, I found her lift up the little black board to everybody who possibly pass by. "Maybe she needs some help." That's my first impression.

So I decided to go closer and ask what kind help she needs. Then I was surprised to see the two big words on her small board:"Free Hug." She is offering hugs! Then she started to talk with me about free hug activities..."of course, for so many times I saw free hugs video on Youtube." I didn't let her finish.

We then gave each other a tight hug.

She went on the tram with me. From her words I started to know that she is a high school students, who is always bullied as she growing up: because she is not so good-looking, with some problems of her eyes. (But she got beautiful smile!). The real thing inspired me is she doesn't feel bad about herself as what we would thought, instead she tried to say hello to people (strangers) at school, and even decide to walk onto street to offer free hugs to passengers, in regardless of how other people think of her back.

I'm also a bit surprised to listen to her saying about people gave her positive feedback as she greets them on the street --that something would barely happen in China. People will be so busy to think of her just wanting to cheat money out of compassion.

It's the courage from this poor-looking girl that makes me feel happy for the rest of the day.

I also kept her mobile number :)

When it touches the bottom line - in friendship

When I was a kid, I used to ask my father the most broad question:"how to treat things?"

He gave me two and a half sentences:"first, be nice; second, everything has a bottom line. Make some decision when it touches the bottom line"

What is the bottom line?

It changes overtime as I growing up, and when I gaining new knowledge, getting more experiences and meeting new people. It helps me to control myself of doing the right thing at right time, without getting too crazy ;)

For instance, making friends. If someone are nice too me, then I give the same treatment back in 200% in return. 6 years ago when I just started with university, studying hard while enjoying the most innocent time in my life, I consider whomever talk with me for more than 2 times as friend. Therefore I got friends from various activities in different channels. Until one day I found a girl who was taking the goodness of all her friends, but never did anything good to people around her. I decide to block people with extreme selfish character from my friend list, because they live in a small world that only they themselves exist.

2 years later I was so lucky to get into the most inspiring organization AIESEC, met people whom can kept me smiling whenever I think of them. I started to know how to distinguish a good friend from everyone. Especially when I found myself start to adapt to the behaviors of them: being updated with news, read more books, being optimistic, staying in peace, etc. From then I start to think more carefully when I met new friends: whom is someone can lift you up, and whom will drag you down. Then give more importances to the one who influence you silently in a right way. I became selective in making friends.

As I came to the Netherlands, attended the master programme where classmates/colleagues are from much more complicated social and economic background, other than "simple-minded" bachelor students, they are much more sophisticated. You got free-drivers in teamwork but highly intelligent; you are frustrated with 30 years old who still behave like a child, however they activate the atmosphere when there is a group of people; you saw close-minded who would never step outside their comfort-zoon, then they are good time-manager. Once more I learned something else about people from being with them. Also from many of clients from my part-time job. I realize that one person can have double or triple/more... sides of personalities. Almost everyone, has the good side of their personality, and the dark/hidden side of themselves. And the reasons could because of their family background, the experiences in their life (especially childhood), etc. So you can be friends with part of one people's personality. You can never expect what will happen when you start to get more tolerance. I therefore stopped being so selective with friends...except one thing that I really look into from a person: a positive attitude. The ability of standing up in difficulty.

Everyone I meet is like a mirror, and a good mirror let you know you are still ignorant. In regardless of their religion, gender, nationality, age...

(Don't know why I came up with an article like this...I think partly I'm looking for a reason for me to quit my current part-time job -- my only income source here in the Netherlands. I found myself start to go backward and become negative when I was being with people at this workplace. Therefore I choose to leave. I'm sure I can make out something more valuable in the close future, as it is always be :D )

Cheer up!

More time for breakfast

I tried to get up one hour earlier than before, intended to serve myself a rich breakfast. It seems this one hour gives me more value than the hot milk & cheese sandwich.

- I got 15 mins to listen to BBC world news at 9am;

- I got 20 mins to listen to one Ted talk that show me life is endless meaningful & fun!

- I got 5 more mins to choose clothes I like to wear that make me feel more condifent to meet different people in the day;

- I got 10 mins to digest subscriptions on my google reader.

- I will spent another 10 mins to learn Dutch.